Discouragement.....Pressing Forward.....

Oh I am so frustrated....so many thoughts and frustrations running through my head!

I am still trecking forward, but I feel like I'm at a standstill. Some days I loose a pound or two and then the next day I gain a pound or two. This has been going for over a week now. I'm frustrated about not eating "regular" food....and then I cheat here and there.

I'm anxious about our upcoming family vacation. You see, my family of 18, go on a vacation every year. This year we are going to Phoenix....we leave in 3 days. I was hoping to loose 30lbs by that trip...I had 5 weeks to do that. I'm close, but I'm not there yet.

But, on those trips there is lots of eating and drinking. We eat family meals together. All my siblings and their spouses go on a date night while Grammy and Poppy watch all the kids...and you can only imagine what happens on that night! :) I've already been asked by my brother if I can join them in our usual drinking habits and of course, I had to say no, not this year. So, I ask myself, what will this family vacation look like for me? It hasn't even come yet and I'm already feeling left out. I want to be a part of it all, but I also don't want to sabatoge all that I've done so far.

I know I am not giving myself much credit, but frustration is still at the forefront.

Yes, I have lost 25lbs so far. This week I have been averaging 500 physical activity calories a day. I have never done that much in my life on a consistent basis. I can fit in clothes that I haven't been able to fit into in over 7 months. I feel good about myself. I see a difference in me. My sister even saw a difference the other day when I saw her...she was the first person to notice and I was shocked and flattered at the same time. What I'm doing is making a difference...slow going these last few weeks, but still going in the right direction!

I guess I also get frustrated each week with myself if I don't loose 4-5 lbs. It's just plain discouraging for me and makes it harder to keep on track. Drinking my 5 "meals" a day is getting harder and harder as each week goes by. As the weather gets warmer, its extremely difficult to not eat fruits and vegetables. That's what I have always enjoyed about the summer and warm weather...more fruits and veggies.

I was so discouraged with myself, that I got out and walked 3 miles! I have never done that in my entire life.

I know that I'm at a cross-roads. I know I need to keep pressing forward. I know that loosing weight doesn't happen over night. I know that I need to keep my goal in mind. I know that I need to be proud of where I have come. I know that I can do this.