So, I have been reading a new book...Fit for My King. It's by Sheri Rose Shepherd. It's been very eye opening and keeping me accoutable each day, making me think about God and His role in my weight loss journey.
Here are some tokens of truth that I have been pondering...
Finding the root cause of why I battle with my body image and discovering the keys to break free from food controlling my life....
Setting my mind on my royal call, not on my cravings...
Help me Lord to hunger more for you than for food.
I am destined to live an abundant life!
No food tastes as good as being healthy feels!
Honoring the One who created my body.
I tried with all my strength and willpower to control my unhealthy, compulsive-eating behavior, but the harder I tried to break out of this bondage, the more bound I became.
I am beginning to allow God to define my worth...I am choosing this day to believe that I am who God says I am...and praying that He will help me walk in His confidence, not my own.
I am praying my way through each passing day. Praising God for giving me the means to loose this weight and the determination to keep on track. The layers of this onion are being peeled away....one layer at a time. I am trying to instill Truth and new habits in this new life I am creating. I don't want to get to my goal weight and then gain it all back, so I am trying to break the bondage of sin and receive forgiveness and receive grace.
I surely don't have this all figured out, but I'm exploring, pondering, and receiving.
Faith looks back and draws courage; hope looks ahead and keeps desire alive.
Self help is no help at all. Self sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. ~Matt. 16:25.
The thief's purposw is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. ~John 10:10
For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory! ~Deut. 20:4
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
This is it!
I have started on a weight loss journey....
I know, I know, I've done it a thousand times and said it a thousand times before, "I'm going to loose weight and go on such-n-such diet." (At least to Markus I've said that!)
Well, this time is different!!
I am pronouncing to my family and friends for the first time ever, that I'm not turning back and I am doing this!
This is it!
Trust me, I'm scared to death. I have never shared this part of my life with any one except for Markus. I don't talk about my weight with others, I ignore that it's there. I don't want to turn back, I want this time to be drastically different.
I have always struggled with my weight, even when I was growing up. But it has gotten out of hand in the last several years and I'm just plain disgusted with myself and how I look. As I look in the mirror now, I actually don't look, but when I have to, I hate what I see. That's not Amber. That's some fat girl just looking at me. I can't accept how I look and the size that I am. I hate this body that I'm living in. I like the insides of that person, but not the outside. I'm hoping this journey will help me appreciate and maybe even like the person on the outside and love more the person on the inside too!
I was diagnosed several years ago with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which makes loosing weight extremely hard, compared to the average person. I also was recently diagnosed with a Metabolic Disorder. So, loosing weight is not on my side. Yes, I've been on many other diets, but to no avail. I have only been able to loose about 20lbs and then it stops. I either give up (for some dumb reason) or I can't loose any more.
I'm tired of the excuses I give myself and that is why I have decided to join HMR (Health Management Resources) through UC Irvine. It is medically supervised weight management program. I meet with a doctor on a weekly basis, go to a support group once a week, and get blood work done every two weeks.
I only eat/drink a minimum prescription of 5 shakes a day which are only 100 calories each. (Yes, only 500 calories a day!)I also can eat their hot multigrain cereal. Other than that, I drink lots of water or diet drinks. So basically, an all liquid diet...fun huh!?
Well, not so fun, but I'm doing it!
The first week, I was very tired and had headaches a lot! I kept pushing through each hour of the day, drinking my way through each day....one shake at a time.
In this week, was a birthday and Mother's Day, that I had to celebrate. I really wrestled with myself about these two events. You see, all growing up, we would celebrate with food and so that's all I've done all these 33 years...celebrate with food. So, how was I suppose to celebrate a birthday and Mother's Day if I couldn't eat? I had to redefine what celebration meant to me....it was spending time with the people that I love and enjoying their company...without food!
So at the end of the week I made it! :) I did it...I stayed on the diet for a whole week! I was so proud of myself...I do have some determination in this fat body of mine! I lost 9lbs the first week!
"Wow, I can do this"....I said to myself! :)
The second week, I have felt really good. My mood was much better. I have much more energy. I am more happy overall...just plain proud of me! I doubled my physical activity this week. I still need to be doing more, but at least I am meeting my goals. My goal this week for physical activity was 14 minutes every day and I did it! I lost another 5.4lbs! I am surely on my way and I can't wait. Each week I am more motivated to keep on keeping on and prove to myself that yes I can do this!
My goal weight is a long ways away, but week by week, I am getting closer. :)
I know, I know, I've done it a thousand times and said it a thousand times before, "I'm going to loose weight and go on such-n-such diet." (At least to Markus I've said that!)
Well, this time is different!!
I am pronouncing to my family and friends for the first time ever, that I'm not turning back and I am doing this!
This is it!
Trust me, I'm scared to death. I have never shared this part of my life with any one except for Markus. I don't talk about my weight with others, I ignore that it's there. I don't want to turn back, I want this time to be drastically different.
I have always struggled with my weight, even when I was growing up. But it has gotten out of hand in the last several years and I'm just plain disgusted with myself and how I look. As I look in the mirror now, I actually don't look, but when I have to, I hate what I see. That's not Amber. That's some fat girl just looking at me. I can't accept how I look and the size that I am. I hate this body that I'm living in. I like the insides of that person, but not the outside. I'm hoping this journey will help me appreciate and maybe even like the person on the outside and love more the person on the inside too!
I was diagnosed several years ago with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which makes loosing weight extremely hard, compared to the average person. I also was recently diagnosed with a Metabolic Disorder. So, loosing weight is not on my side. Yes, I've been on many other diets, but to no avail. I have only been able to loose about 20lbs and then it stops. I either give up (for some dumb reason) or I can't loose any more.
I'm tired of the excuses I give myself and that is why I have decided to join HMR (Health Management Resources) through UC Irvine. It is medically supervised weight management program. I meet with a doctor on a weekly basis, go to a support group once a week, and get blood work done every two weeks.
I only eat/drink a minimum prescription of 5 shakes a day which are only 100 calories each. (Yes, only 500 calories a day!)I also can eat their hot multigrain cereal. Other than that, I drink lots of water or diet drinks. So basically, an all liquid diet...fun huh!?
Well, not so fun, but I'm doing it!
The first week, I was very tired and had headaches a lot! I kept pushing through each hour of the day, drinking my way through each day....one shake at a time.
In this week, was a birthday and Mother's Day, that I had to celebrate. I really wrestled with myself about these two events. You see, all growing up, we would celebrate with food and so that's all I've done all these 33 years...celebrate with food. So, how was I suppose to celebrate a birthday and Mother's Day if I couldn't eat? I had to redefine what celebration meant to me....it was spending time with the people that I love and enjoying their company...without food!
So at the end of the week I made it! :) I did it...I stayed on the diet for a whole week! I was so proud of myself...I do have some determination in this fat body of mine! I lost 9lbs the first week!
"Wow, I can do this"....I said to myself! :)
The second week, I have felt really good. My mood was much better. I have much more energy. I am more happy overall...just plain proud of me! I doubled my physical activity this week. I still need to be doing more, but at least I am meeting my goals. My goal this week for physical activity was 14 minutes every day and I did it! I lost another 5.4lbs! I am surely on my way and I can't wait. Each week I am more motivated to keep on keeping on and prove to myself that yes I can do this!
My goal weight is a long ways away, but week by week, I am getting closer. :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Welcome!
Hello World.....
Here I am joining the blogging world. It's a little nerve racking to know that my thoughts now are written down on the Internet. But, I'm excited to share our lives with you too.
Life here in the Hempell house is much less chaotic then in years past and now could be categorized as somewhat boring....all by choice of coarse! You see, we are a homeschooling family. We do school right here at home. Currently, the kids are not really involved in any outside activities - only because right now they don't want to. Tyler has autism, verbal apraxia, and sensory integration disorder and was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He likes his routine and likes it here at home. He does much better when he knows what to expect and there are no "surprises" or unknowns for him, so his safeist place to be is at home. So, needless to say, we are at home A LOT. And it's a good thing. I like our home, or else I would go crazy. There are probably 2-3 days a week that we stay home and are in our jammies all day long.
So being at home so much, I don't get out too often and socialize with other moms. I talk on the phone, email, and use Facebook as my means to socialize with the outside world. With that, I thought it would be helpful for me to start blogging to share more of my world with you.
Join me in this journey.....
Here I am joining the blogging world. It's a little nerve racking to know that my thoughts now are written down on the Internet. But, I'm excited to share our lives with you too.
Life here in the Hempell house is much less chaotic then in years past and now could be categorized as somewhat boring....all by choice of coarse! You see, we are a homeschooling family. We do school right here at home. Currently, the kids are not really involved in any outside activities - only because right now they don't want to. Tyler has autism, verbal apraxia, and sensory integration disorder and was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He likes his routine and likes it here at home. He does much better when he knows what to expect and there are no "surprises" or unknowns for him, so his safeist place to be is at home. So, needless to say, we are at home A LOT. And it's a good thing. I like our home, or else I would go crazy. There are probably 2-3 days a week that we stay home and are in our jammies all day long.
So being at home so much, I don't get out too often and socialize with other moms. I talk on the phone, email, and use Facebook as my means to socialize with the outside world. With that, I thought it would be helpful for me to start blogging to share more of my world with you.
Join me in this journey.....
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